But a Jape

“I am not willing to die on this hill but it seems I do not have a choice in the matter!”

– a man who will die on that hill

I’m pretty sure the distinction between, “facts” and “opinions” is one of the first things children are taught in school, so why does the existence of other people’s different opinions still seem to baffle adults? And why do they have to be such assholes about it?

And why, of all opinions, does pineapples on pizza seem to elicit such rage in people when they have to express their distaste of it? Throughout my entire life, I have not once been presented with a pineapple-topped pizza that either A) I did not order myself or B) did not have a pineapple-less alternative immediately available. Yet everybody else seems to consider its mere existence as a threat to themselves and the concept of pizza as a whole. Olives are probably my least favorite pizza topping, and I have never had the desire to make my opposition to it such a vocal part of my identity.

Is it supposed to be funny? Like, people are exaggerating their hatred of pineapple for humor? Because I never see anyone laughing and it must be an old joke by now.

Also, Steve Wilhite, the inventor of the GIF, died a a couple of weeks back, and the amount of heated arguments over the pronunciation of GIF that arose afterwards did little to improve my appreciation of internet discourse. Because preferred pronunciation is ultimately that, a preference, and English doesn’t actually have any hard set rules for determining correct pronunciation. Yet people still leapt at the chance to tell a dead man that he’s stupid for naming his own invention.

– James