“Oh wait, no, there it is.”

– Me, finding the contact lens on the back of my removed eyeball

Every now and then it becomes wholly apparent to me that my terrible eyesight would be my greatest hindrance in a survival situation. Not just in a, “make sure your glasses don’t break in a post-apocalyptic world,” sort of way but also in a, “if a crazed killer breaks in at night, make sure you don’t fumble putting on your glasses” way.

This alone is what really gets in the way of my ability to fantasize about living a life of thrilling adventure. There’s no parkouring through hostile territory if I have to worry about my glasses falling off or getting broken during an impromptu fist fight.  Contact lenses may improve mobility, but are much more dangerous for long-term adventuring – can’t exactly ensure your fingers are clean enough for nighttime removal when you’re trekking through the Dead Marshes on the way to Mordor.

Like damn, if I was a boss fight, “break his glasses” would be the cheesy strategy that completely trivializes battling me.

– James