“What am I giving you my bodily fluids for your liquid cooling systems for anyway?!”

– What The Matrix may as well have been using human bodies for, since battery power makes just as much sense

There’s a popular behind-the-scenes story about how The Matrix was originally written so that the robots kept humanity alive to use their brains as processors, but it was changed to using humans as batteries because 90’s audiences/studio execs didn’t understand the original premise. In my 10-minutes of Googling, I wasn’t able to find the original source for this story, so I’m not claiming veracity, but I do know there are countless articles and fan critiques that point out how infeasible the battery concept is, but I haven’t seen any on how feasible the CPU idea is. I don’t have the knowledge base to determine one way or the other, nor do I have the comment section to invite my very intelligent readers to answer themselves – honestly, I’m just typing all of this out because I know you guys are out there reading my joke quote at the top and leaping at the chance to go “Actually, in the original script…!”

But if one of you guys who actually reads this part is on Reddit or Twitter or something, feel free to comment there on whether or not the human CPU premise would actually work out for our robot overlords.

– James