But a Jape

“Thank God, for a second I was worried I actually had to reevaluate some things about how I live my life.”

– Me, ignoring my near-death revelations

When I was in kindergarten, I fell down an entire flight of stairs, sprang back up unharmed, and thought, “Aw yeah, I’m immortal!” Nowadays, if my foot touches a slippery spot in my bathtub, I immediately start wondering how long it would take for my corpse to be found.

– James