“Britain? Classy? The guy who vomited on my carpet and passed out in my kitchen last week?”

– the rest of Europe, when America talks about how classy their big brother is

I can enjoy some good-natured ribbing at some of the silly things we Americans do, I just feel like the Brits are in no position to do so when they’re the ones who taught us most of this bullshit in the first place. Where the hell do they get off mocking us for saying “soccer” (which a bunch of Oxford prats came up with) or using the Imperial (that is, from the British Empire) system?

And don’t even get me started on things like not pronouncing the “h” in “herbs”. It’s a FRENCH word, they don’t pronounce the “h,” you’re the ones who said it wrong first!

[I just know some linguist is out there who’ll explain, “Um, actually, the voiceless glottal fricative was pronounced in Old French from so-and-so until this-and-then, so when the Normans invaded…” but the Brits know about, and still use, silent letters – why is “herbs” such an issue for them?]

– James