“Good night, sweet prince. I assure you, no bed bugs shall be biting you tonight…”

– Joseph’s spider, right before kissing him good night

I know technically the reason you don’t want pests in your home is because they carry disease and whatnot, but honestly, my main reason for not wanting them around is because they’re fucking gross and I don’t like looking at them. I don’t care if spiders or fucking centipedes(!) eat the other bugs, I don’t like looking at them either. I have the same philosophy towards these horrible creatures as a 50s housewife has towards her husband’s philandering: I don’t care what they’re doing on their own time, but I should never see it right in front of me.

– James