“You guys all seemed to get along every time you’d gang up on me before; I thought giving you a different common enemy would help you get along for longer.”

– Current Year, when they were named “2020”

Another entry in my “sympathizing with internet villains” series.

There was a scene in Forrest Gump that took place during New Year’s Eve where a character says, “Don’t you just love New Year’s? You could start all over!” and for some reason that scene got stuck in my mind because all middle school me could think was, “What? No, nothing actually changes after December 31st that lets anything reset!”

And yeah, middle school me’s got a whole bunch of ideas that haven’t aged too well in retrospect, but I still feel like he’s got a point there. Especially since school-age me found the first day of school to be a far more significant “reset” moment than New Year’s Eve. And current-age me just sees time as an infinite, uninterrupted expanse that has no beginning, end, or break periods – December 31st is one day, January 1st is the next, and January 2nd is coming whether you like it or not.

Anyway, I guess my main point is that I don’t care for the requisite New Year’s comics/memes that anthropomorphize the past year just to act as an effigy for all of humanity’s past and continuing faults. Because you start giving these abstract concepts a face, then I start imagining they have emotions, and then I start feeling bad that they get all blame for all your (read: society’s, mine included) shit.

– James